The Miracle
...a personal testimony of God's miracle in my life
...an article featured in Meet Me in the Meadow

To Him who alone does great wonders: for His mercy endures for ever.”  Psalm 136:4 

I will always have the sweetest memories of my mother. When she became afflicted with cervical cancer 19 years ago, both ache and fear gripped my heart.

I am an only child, and although I was already married that time, I was so dependent on my mother. I was asking for a miracle from God but one pastor friend, after spending time of prayer and meditation, told me that the Lord would not be giving a miracle of healing for my mother. Instead (according to the convictions in his heart), God would be making a miracle out of this situation. Though I did not fully understand what he said, I just held on the Lord’s love, drew strength from His Words, and hoped in my heart that a miracle would really happen.

Now, when I remember my mother, the ache is still there, and I guess it would stay forever, but through the years I realized that there really was a miracle. Even without my loving Mama, I was able to make it through — by His strength and guidance, through the help and support of my family, church, and friends. I realized that I’ve become more independent, responsible, strong-willed, just like my mother. It has been 19 years since she departed and went home with the Lord, but her love and legacy of so many significant lessons, virtues, and values, are always with me to give me strength and inspiration -- which I also want to pass on to my children. And that is the miracle God gave me. All glory belongs to God.

A New Path

"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." (Isaiah 43:19)

Thank you, Lord, for giving me a clear direction, it did not come immediately and in one moment, but you gave me light as I continued to trust and walk with you. I ask for your blessing and guidance as I tread this new path you are leading me to. Increase my faith, wisdom, and courage as I follow You. I admit it, I am not without fear, but I am very very excited for this new direction, for this transition. For this answered prayer,I give you all the glory! 

Bits of Lessons - Loads of Blessings

(some selected excerpts from my spiritual diary)

May, 2014 entry: 

I have resolved to be joyful and contented with the life that the Lord has given me. I realized all the more that it is best to live this life without any regrets no matter what. I may have so many dreams and wishes that did not become a reality, but this should not hinder me from living a full life, a joyful, happy, contented, peaceful life. I have to be thankful for whatever God has given me. I don't want to live my life with regrets, I don't like sadness to cover so many good things I have in my life. Praise be to God.

June, 2014 entry: 

Today, I came to deeply realize my need to re-assess my walk with the Lord, myself, in the light of His Word and the Holy Spirit..to check if I'm still doing what he wants me to do, if I'm still on the right track of becoming the person He wants me to be.

I realized that at my age (51), I ought to be more careful, to have more time to ponder. -- careful about my words, my thoughts, actions. Because I thought, being in this age and being a Christian for so many years (37 yrs) I could be having the notion that I've been in the "Christian league" for so long a time.. that there is a great tendency for me to become too relaxed to the point of becoming careless. Another thing, I thought, I realized that I should be even more cautious because at this age, I could carelessly use the fact that I am tired, getting old, that I can relax, and ending up not doing the things the Lord wants me to do.

The bottom line is, I should ask myself..am I still doing what the Lord wants me to do? Am I still in the right track of "my journey with the Lord"?

Sept. 10 entry: 

The Lord has been speaking to my heart about the one thing that He wants to change in me  now --- my own culture of a "hurried" life and my hurried, stressed-out, and anxious heart. He has been using different daily situations to teach me that. The past weeks, I noticed that I really got more tensed, was always in a hurry not only in action, but worse, inside my heart. If someone could peek into my heart (like what the Lord does), he/she would see me "running".  As I jokingly describe myself as an "OC" (one who has obsessive-compulsive behavior),  I already had this struggle in mid-2012 and I  guess I was able to handle it that time. But I didn't know it would come back, and it did -- slowly. Now, God has been giving me alerts on this. I'm asking the Lord to guard my heart and mind all through the day & always remind me to slow down, be calm, and just trust Him. "I want to live freely and lightly". (borrowing from - http://www.incourage.me/2014/08/let-the-rhythm-move-you.html)  

Writing my thoughts and expressing my heart in writing (my spiritual diary) helps a lot. I do not write everyday, but just when I feel I need to write my thoughts and feelings. For women like us, having a kind of "spiritual diary" could really help in our daily walk with the Lord. It could serve as a mirror of our heart, -- and through it, we could process our thoughts and feelings honestly & more easily, and eventually come to terms with the right resolutions. And after some time, as we reread our entries, we could be encouraged and inspired - all the more, in our walk with the Lord.

Check on Holley Gerth's blog-- very encouraging & enlightening!

https://www.behance.net/knels_art

Heart and Thoughts: I don't want to do anything...I don't want to sa...

Heart and Thoughts:
I don't want to do anything...
I don't want to sa...: I don't want to do anything... I don't want to say anything... I don't want to think of anything... I JUST WANT TO TRUST ...

I don't want to do anything...
I don't want to say anything...
I don't want to think of anything...

I JUST WANT TO TRUST THE LORD.

I don't want to do, say, think of anything

...that would make me waiver,
...that would make me sway,
...that would make me shake.

I JUST WANT TO TRUST THE LORD.

I don't want to be caught off guard...

that would make me blurt out unpleasant words...
that would make me worry too much...
that would make me complain.

I just want to TRUST the LORD.
I just want to think of His promises.
I just want to dwell on His goodness.

In the uncertainties of my present days, I KNOW, I just have to TRUST HIM.

I'm linking up with one of my favorite devotional websites!

Prescription for My Restlessness: Psalms 46:10

"Be Still and Know that I am God." 

Approximately over a week ago as of this writing (May 16, 2012), I realized my restlessness attacks were getting more frequent. I remembered that I have already been having episodes of restless feet even when I was younger, but only rarely. Then I thought I could attribute this to my frozen shoulder, I am not sure, but I just thought so because my restlessness attacks did not only limit to my feet, but to my whole body as well, and it would go on for almost a whole day. Restless feet, as I read from the net, is "a neurological disorder characterized by an irresistible urge to move one's body to stop uncomfortable or odd sensations.[1] It most commonly affects the legs, but can affect the arms, torso, and even phantom limbs.[2] Moving the affected body part modulates the sensations, providing temporary relief" (Wikipedia). I also learned that it could also mean deciency in some nutrients/vitamins such as iron, folate, vit B, magnesium. (So i plan to buy and take vitamin supplements, asap.) I noticed this restlessness attack became frequent and took longer hours. I would look normal to others but people around me don't know I'm already having this attack. I would pray and pray, and try to calm myself and relax. I realized that this could be due to my lifestyle and work for the past 4- years as a freelance book designer. Being one, my life is characterized by constant necessity to be always in a hurry. Especially when I had some deadlines, I would always do things other than my work, in a hurry. I'd say that most of my home chores are done in a haste, always thinking that I had projects and deadlines. I realized that other than my work, I have not been enjoying moments of doing anything at all-whether it be cooking, cleaning the house, etc. I noticed I already developed this habit of living each day of my life in a hurry. This habit already took captive of my whole being, my inner self. It may be unnoticeable, but whenever this restlessness attacks, deep inside my being, in my heart and mind, i have the urge to be in a hurry. When I realized this worsening condition, I knew I had to do something concrete and do it fast. I remembered God's word in Psalms 46:10, saying "Be Still and Know that I am God." I knew that for years, there was always the temptation to have control over things, especially, time. Now, I really have to let go of that habit, really have to have God in complete control, even over my work, my deadlines, everything. Now, with God's help, I always remind myself that I have a lot of time, that I need to slow down, and condition my heart and mind that I do not have to be in a hurry. This is not easy for me, because the urge to do things as fast as I could seems to be deeply embedded in my innermost being, and became a part of me, of my everyday life. But as I am doing something about it, I noticed that I am slowly getting rid of it. As I draw strength from the Lord, and with His constant reminders through His Word and the Holy Spirit, I am sure I will conquer this weakness and have victory to this yet another challenge. This year, 2012, I already encountered a number of health challenges and trials, and as always, God has been with me. And I know He is with me all the time. 

  

"HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High 
shall remain stable and fixed 
under the shadow of the Almighty.."

On the Road to Recovery: My Second Session of Acupuncture
April 17, Tuesday

The doctor was happy seeing that my left shoulder and arm have had significant improvement, and much to his surprise, I also lost 2 kilos in a span of 2 weeks.  I would, perhaps, attribute this weight loss more to my lack of sleep due to arm and shoulder pain, and restlessness. Nevertheless, it still is a good thing to lose weight, though my doctor said 2 kilos of weight loss within a month is just right, particularly if it is based only on diet, exercise excluded.  I still have more or less 5 kilos to lose..I guess I really have to start doing exercises, and do it religiously. My doctor found out that I have edema, as he did some acupressure on my legs.  He said that it shows that my kidney is having a hard time doing its job of absorbing fluids from my body. He told me to cut on my sodium and sugar intake, and be sure not to stay sitting nor standing for too long a time. He also gave me prescription for a diuretic medicine. It's really good to have a regular medical check up especially in my age..health problems could be detected early and preventive measures could be easily done. So, today, I had 5 needles (3 on my left shoulder, 1 on the left arm, and 1 on my left ankle--for the edema).  My doctor also did acupressure on my left lower arm as I complained sudden attacks of pain and restlessness.  I went home feeling satisfied and thankful that I was able to find a doctor who share the same health principles I have -- more on natural remedies and promoting healthy lifestyle.