Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Prescription for My Restlessness: Psalms 46:10
"Be Still and Know that I am God." 
Approximately over a week ago as of this writing (May 16, 2012), I realized my restlessness attacks were getting more frequent. I remembered that I have already been having episodes of restless feet even when I was younger, but only rarely. Then I thought I could attribute this to my frozen shoulder, I am not sure, but I just thought so because my restlessness attacks did not only limit to my feet, but to my whole body as well, and it would go on for almost a whole day. Restless feet, as I read from the net, is "a neurological disorder characterized by an irresistible urge to move one's body to stop uncomfortable or odd sensations.[1] It most commonly affects the legs, but can affect the arms, torso, and even phantom limbs.[2] Moving the affected body part modulates the sensations, providing temporary relief" (Wikipedia). I also learned that it could also mean deciency in some nutrients/vitamins such as iron, folate, vit B, magnesium. (So i plan to buy and take vitamin supplements, asap.) I noticed this restlessness attack became frequent and took longer hours. I would look normal to others but people around me don't know I'm already having this attack. I would pray and pray, and try to calm myself and relax. I realized that this could be due to my lifestyle and work for the past 4- years as a freelance book designer. Being one, my life is characterized by constant necessity to be always in a hurry. Especially when I had some deadlines, I would always do things other than my work, in a hurry. I'd say that most of my home chores are done in a haste, always thinking that I had projects and deadlines. I realized that other than my work, I have not been enjoying moments of doing anything at all-whether it be cooking, cleaning the house, etc. I noticed I already developed this habit of living each day of my life in a hurry. This habit already took captive of my whole being, my inner self. It may be unnoticeable, but whenever this restlessness attacks, deep inside my being, in my heart and mind, i have the urge to be in a hurry. When I realized this worsening condition, I knew I had to do something concrete and do it fast. I remembered God's word in Psalms 46:10, saying "Be Still and Know that I am God." I knew that for years, there was always the temptation to have control over things, especially, time. Now, I really have to let go of that habit, really have to have God in complete control, even over my work, my deadlines, everything. Now, with God's help, I always remind myself that I have a lot of time, that I need to slow down, and condition my heart and mind that I do not have to be in a hurry. This is not easy for me, because the urge to do things as fast as I could seems to be deeply embedded in my innermost being, and became a part of me, of my everyday life. But as I am doing something about it, I noticed that I am slowly getting rid of it. As I draw strength from the Lord, and with His constant reminders through His Word and the Holy Spirit, I am sure I will conquer this weakness and have victory to this yet another challenge. This year, 2012, I already encountered a number of health challenges and trials, and as always, God has been with me. And I know He is with me all the time. 
"HE WHO dwells in the secret place of the Most High 
shall remain stable and fixed 
under the shadow of the Almighty.."

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